Self-limiting beliefs are often unconscious. They act in your mind like computer programs, which determine your actions according to those concepts. By removing them, through these seven simple steps, you will not only move towards a happier life, but also discover the possibility of achieving much more than you ever imagined.
Step 1: Identify and list your self-limiting beliefs.
Divide a piece of paper into seven columns. Use it in a horizontal position to ensure that you have enough space. In column 1, write down in any order all the self-limiting thoughts you have. Some will be easy to identify, others not so much. Also, some will be more important than others; however, once you are able to remove them all, the order of identification will no longer be relevant.
Step 2: Describe why and how the belief is counterproductive
You must fully understand why the belief is pulling you back. By achieving a clear understanding of what these thoughts are hindering your life and the consequences of this, you will create a strong need to commit to making the change.
For example, if you have identified the belief “I’m not qualified enough to ask my boss for a raise,” the consequences will be that you have a minimal chance of getting that extra money that could help you do a different program on vacation, or that you won’t feel recognized and valued by your superiors.
Step 3: Discovering the source of the belief that limits you
It is important to delve into past memories to discover the source of the belief. In most cases, a self-limiting belief is formed by several similar experiences. When did it first happen? Under what circumstances? How did it come to be? Try to be as specific as you can and note the result in column 3.
Usually this kind of thinking comes from your childhood and interaction with your parents. For example, their reaction when they disapprove of your behavior. In some families, the criticism and disapproval is subtle, while in others it is quite obvious.
By finding out exactly when you created this thought, you will have more strength to break it down and replace it with a more positive and encouraging one. If you can no longer remember your childhood, at least try to find out what your parents were like. Ask neighbors, relatives, or old friends of theirs.
Step 4: Examine other possibilities
Once you have identified the source, look for alternative interpretations of the events that gave rise to the thought, points of view you had never thought of before. Write them in column 4.
For example, you have discovered that the thought “I’m not good enough” has roots in your childhood, because your parents were always angry or didn’t recognize the things you did. Now you can reinterpret this behavior in other ways:
- They were simply wrong, because the marriage was going through a rough patch and they ended up taking it out on you.
- They were right then, but you have changed a lot since then.
- You never wanted what they wanted, or the way they wanted it, or when they wanted it.
- They wanted to push you out of your comfort zone, showing you that you can always do something better.
- This exercise helps you to see that your interpretation of the facts is only one among countless possible ones. Why exactly does yours have to be the true one?
Step 5: Prove that your belief is wrong
For each of your limiting thoughts, identify a specific example that it is not true. It can be something you have experienced personally, or originated from someone else’s experience.
For example, for the “it’s too late to start something new” belief, think of a time when you (or someone you know) started something later than most and still succeeded. Write your evidence in column 5.
Step 6: Rewrite your belief
Mentally formulate the exact opposite of your belief. In the case of the previous item, you could write, “It’s never too late to start something new. Now rephrase it using only positive words: “I can start something new whenever I want. Make a mental backup by thinking of specific examples.
For example: “my experience allows me to understand things quickly”; “I love learning new things”; “learning something new will help me get a promotion”. Write your new belief in column 6 and the examples in column 7.
Step 7: Visualize the change
Visualization is one of the most effective ways to change your thoughts and keep your mind focused on what really matters to your life. It is also one of the most effective ways to achieve success.
Take a little time now to close your eyes and imagine yourself interpreting your new belief. Feel deeply the experience and the emotions it provokes. Let your new belief anchor in the depths of your consciousness. Visualize the change for the next 30 days.
Despite those steps you learned, you have to be concerned with some questions. Are you happy? Satisfied with your routine? Are all areas of your life in harmony? If your answer to all these questions is positive, congratulations! If not, Life Coaching can help you upgrade your life!
Life Coaching: more balance in your life
For many experts, the secret to happiness, success, and balance is to live a well-balanced life among the most important areas of your existence.
When we fail to achieve this balance, we experience dissatisfaction between the life we have and the life we want, what we are and what we could have been, what we have achieved and what we could have achieved, what we do and what we could have done.
Life coaching helps you gain total clarity about all the areas of your life that you need to optimize in order to live in harmony. It is an extremely effective process that gives you the best tools to make the necessary changes in a short time in order to maximize your personal satisfaction and improve your quality of life.
In short, life coaching teaches you how to find happiness without depending on outside circumstances.